Describe It - Camp Experiences
Learning Objectives:
Level 3
- Select, form, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
- Use language features appropriately, showing a developing understanding of their effects.
- Organise texts, using a range of appropriate structures.
- Show a developing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.
Level 4.
- Select, develop, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
- Use a range of language features appropriately, showing an increasing understanding of their effects.
- Organise texts. Using a range of appropriate structures.
- Show an increasing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.
Learning goals:
- To ‘Show, Don’t Tell’ the reader by painting a picture with words.
- A variety of sentence starters
- A variety of sentence lengths
- Edit and rework
- Effective peer checking and feedback
Horrified, shaking dramatically rising up from the ground like a bird taking lift off.
While up there it’s a struggle to breathe my whole body was numb.
Swinging back and forth front and back feeling like I fainted once maybe twice
I'm sure my group can see me quivering and howling. My stomach rising up and
down like its dislodged breathing got heavier and heavier as people move on!
Getting down like solid land wasn’t a thing! Crawling, to get the harness off it
had to come off immediately!
Student Reflection:
In my writing, one of my goals is Ask others for their feedback on writing and respond to their ideas. I did show this goal here because when I did my buddy mark my buddy read it out to me and I narrowed down the ''I's''. In my writing, one of my goals is Check spelling, punctuation and grammar. I did not show this goal here because I didn't have much punctuation (I had 2 commas in my writing).
My next step is to attempt complex punctuation '' , - ( )
Teacher Comment: Sarah, I like how you hook the reader in from the very first sentence in this piece
of writing. You have used a variety of sentence lengths for impact. I loved reading this! Your next step is to have a go at using complex punctuation. |
